The Second Half...My Adventures in ITALY.....: Chapter 2: Under The Tuscan Sun- "Uncensored"...

Welcome back to the "journey". Sorry for the long delay between day parts folks but I have been lax in my committment to this journal mainly because I have been on the road for the last week with Chicago Gayle who was here for 10 days.... So .... Let's catch up on my mid-life "awakening" on this side....

So. I was really hoping to make this chapter the "flashback". You know. The one about selling the NYC Apt with the views of the bridge and downsizing into a crappy Spanish Harlem one room studio with a shared bathroom in the hallway!!?? Half my friends and family stated they would NEVER BE ABLE TO MOVE INTO A SHARED BATH gig after a certain age in their lives but oh what I did to make this move/dream happen. I wanted this so much I put it all on the line....I won't bore you with the before and after photos---the photos of my gorgeous apt overlooking the Hudson River relative to the shithole Spanish Harlem shared bath I was in for one full month--(A whopping $900 bucks however--WHAT A GREAT DEAL!!) ha! No, no..too many things on the journey path to mention....

Let's now go move it forward. I am here. In Tuscany. In a lovely home shared with one of my very best friends Dr Gandellini. We have two resident wild cats, a lovely neighbors dog--7 milking COWS across the street and some donkeys and goats and sheep up and down the road....the entire street is about 4 Kms from bottom to the hilltop and the top of Lovely VETULONIA boasts stellar views of the rolling Tuscan countryside and the Mare (Seashore). Everyone is envious that I get to experiment here like this..."Im jealous" "Congratulations on your new job" and on and on and on---yes--I am lucky--but this is the UNCENSORED version of the famous movie with Diane Lane--

Recall how she leaves a miserable life/divorce--as did the protagonist in EAT PRAY LOVE--they leave unhappy lives and go to ITALY-BALI or wherever seeking meaning--they make new friends--create beautiful homes--fall in love and live happily ever after....? But what about the uncensored parts in between...

Stretching and growing and finding what makes one tick and their inner passions is an arduous process...throw in homesickness due to being thrown out of your "ROUTINE", leaving your dynamic fast moving job....your friends, your home, your independence, your income....I think it really started to set in when Gayle was here visiting as she and I always did our vacations here together...this time though--I was no longer on vacation. And I am unemployed and I have fixed savings to live off of and--i couldnt be as carefree...

What the hell have I done!!?? DO I REALLY WANT TO LIVE HERE or is it better as a vacation destination? Why did I do this? Was this all a tragic mistake??

Yes my friends. The uncensored version is that life is life in beautiful places and ugly ones. In relaxed places and stressful ones...and then...the real fun begins...

So..I get here to the lovely abode and things are falling down around me or breaking..the bed brackets break..I have to hammer them in one rainy afternoon with the back of a wine bottle cork so that Gayle was not sleeping on the floor!!

The light switches keep going out---I have to figure out how to get them to work. Call the Handy Man Gian Paolo. Well he has to go 19 Kms to Grosetto to get a matching color. Freggatene, just put in the leftover ugly brown one from your tool box. If it works? I dont care if it matches..this is not House Hunters Inside Edition and it just needs to LIGHT UP THE BATHROOM!!!

Power outages due to the most horrendous weather pattern that the Italians have seen in 20+ years. Rain. Damp. Cold. Crap. Wind. These "Villas" we live in are not insulted and they have no heating system to speak of unless you want to pay over $500 USD equivalent to HOPE to feel heat after the thing is on for an hour or two and even then you are wearing gloves and socks to bed--IN MAY!!! We dont run the heat. It costs a load and a half and we cannot afford it so...we just ARE COLD IN early JUNE.

Yes. Lost power several times. Meno male there is a circuit breaker switch in the apt but it is outside in the neighbors doorway/hallway so if they are not home. Heaven help me. Have to get a key...UGH!

Giorgio is on the road. Alot. That leaves Mindy big city woman home alone with the animals in ALOT OF QUIET THOUGHT. Which is deafening. And scary. and Lonely. and ISOLATING.

I miss my friends. I miss my life. I miss my money and my independence and my ability to come and go as i damn well please. I miss being able to use my credit cards in the damn grocery store!!! "only if your card says "MAESTRO" signora!!!?? What!!!?? Everything here is cash--heaven help you on the rare occassions you want to use a DEBIT card--if it ain't a MAESTRO card..you are out of luck and out of food!?

So. Yes. No. It has not been all beauty, church bells and such a bella vita. Change is hard. Growing up and out is rough. That movie with Diane Lane did not show half of what we really go through when we move from a Pacific Heights San Fran penthouse like she did or from a Hudson River views lovely NYC apt like I did! The movie left out the real long bouts of anxiety, loneliness, inability to motivate oneself. This is all so very, very hard.... Most days lately I just want to run to the airport and jump a plane home. One slight problem with that though is, uhm, I don't have one of those anymore. I sold it when I decided to radically try to change my life to come make a new one in Italy here.

Now I am thinking: This may have all been a big mistake.....

But then, this is probably because Gayle left and I got a real sharp pang of home sickness. Everything truly familiar is back there. I am even thinking it may be a good idea right now to deactivate my facebook page for a time as looking at it only causes me more angst. I see my friends back home and remnants of my life there and I get really sad...until I can figure out my direction forward in my life, it may be a good idea to just shut that down and move forward here with real GUSTO!

Started to do some job stuff. Very little. Dreaming up crazy things like a training/agriturismo facility in the Tuscan hills to promote to companies for retreats that we can market to corporations. Or maybe exporting? So many ideas that totally terrify me. But look. It has only been 30 days on the ground and 10 Gayle was here with me. I need to give this some more time, right?

In the meantime, have a look at some of the beauty that is ITALY. Below, some excerpts of a weekend in Rome with Gayle, where BTW, we got by in a hotel for 4 nights for about $39 bucks each per head or $155 pp! BEAT THAT! If you can handle a really sparse and simple setting, call Natale at The San Lorenzo Dream Hotel. Great location, but his idea of "Luxe" rooms is VERY different from NOI AMERICANI! But his price is right and he is a real great inn keeper host!

Tune in before Monday 3 June for the next Installment where we take you on the real uncensored portion of our trip!!!! Yes. It is very beautiful here but I am still not convinced I will LAST as I thought I would before this journey began. I may very well just be an AMERICAN with an identity crisi!!!! Stay tuned...where will I land next!?? Mamma Mia!

Day at the Vatican to see Papa Franceso and to receive his Benediction (Me and Gayle fr Chicago!)